Online Dating - 2nd Edition

Ok, I am going to commit to doing this for real this time. Write about my dates. Yes, I am back at it again. Seems exceptionally stupid after I just reread the blogs that I had posted. So here we go.

Date #1 - He did not look like his pictures. I got out of my car and he was standing there with a plant in a plastic bag. All I could think was darn it...can't I just take the plant and run? And he seemed so little. And he brought me to a shitty sports bar. I got a little tipsy and it gave me a headache. I inexplicably have seen him a few times since. Playing CatchPhrase in his garage is not a good time.

Date #2 - Floor seats at the Mavs with a good looking doctor. Enough said. But he didn't try to kiss me in his car when dropping me off at the valet and he hasn't called me since. Clearly I am not as hot as I used to be.

Date #3 - did not happen because he left me terrible voice mails and a text that included calling me "CLASSLESS COMPLETELY CLASSLESS" Yes, in all caps and spelled incorrectly. I am sure he kicks his dog for fun.

Date #4 - so sweaty and nervous. Him, not me. I ate an entire Chimmechanga and didn't even feel bad about it. His sweaty armpits, hair and coughing attack was even less sexy than my 1500 calorie consumption. We are going to look at tulips and listen to jazz this weekend. I don't know why.

Date #5 - so sweaty and nervous. Me, not him. Knocked my socks off. And made my mascara run from laughter. The rest of the makeup was kissed away. Grey haired, hazel eyed foreigner 2.0. I'm fucked. More later.